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Except kiss your ass good-bye. But I’d recommend kissing your loved ones first – no one likes ass breath, not even if it’s from a departing loved one. Hi, I’m Andrew J. Kolesar N.A.M.D. (Not A Medical Doctor) and I’m here to help you with your up coming, and eventual death. In this text we’ll explore many different and unorthodox ways of dealing with this little problem you have. Like most people on this planet you are probably sitting there freaking the fuck out. Why? You’re just dying. Happens to the best of us. So take a deep breath (if you are able to) and relax, it’s not gonna be all that bad. Unless you’re a really evil bastard and believe in Hell, then I guess you’re right. You’re probably fucked. All the other self-help booklets and the other shit that’s out there won’t prepare you for a damn thing. If you have bought any of these poorly written works, chuck’em. They’re trying to make money off you and your situation or are written from a happy happy joy joy point of view.. While I was planning not to do another update on this family until earlyNovember, recent events concerning them have changed my mind. Indeed,little Helena (the family's almost four year old daughter, through hereyes I've decided to tell this story) has celebrated thanksgivingholiday (in Canada, thanksgiving occurs in early October), and isbeginning to deal with a huge family crisis. Thus, an update is beinggiven now, as the situation has become very fluid. While the amount oftime actually elapsed in this section is quite short (a little over sevendays) the crisis and family development covered here is massive. The nextupdate will come after Halloween, a holiday these people are REALLY into:the costumes are already on the drawing board, and they are ingenious, ifI may say so. As well, Helena will have celebrates two birthday parties,as we'll start to see below. We also hope to have a more concrete updateon Tom. All names and personal data have been removed or altered in orderto.
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